Friday, January 04, 2013

Lesson from a Cinnamon Roll

Frosted cinnamon roll buns.
Frosted cinnamon roll buns. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was standing in a coffee shop line
noticing the pastry shelf was fully stocked.
There was an entire try of frosted cinnamon rolls
My mind went into "contrast and compare" immediately.

My dad was a big guy and food was a favorite topic in our family.
These rolls were far too small for my dad.  besides, they were frosted.  The frosting would work fine for me, BUT - George David would have preferred a large, glazed cinnamon roll
which he would warm and top with butter.

We were never hungry.

We are were performance art people.
Performance Art People
need to learn behavioral hyper-vigilance.

 We could always be sweet tempered in public - and reward ourselves later with great food.

For me, the problem has been - that I have become "helpful," "nice," "empowering"
AND taken advantage of so severely it hurts

So, in my mind, the cinnamon roll began to teach me about
healthy self esteem
which had nothing to do with calories 
(And - NO, I didn't order a roll - i ordered an Americano - "with room."
Thank you for asking.)

Just because i was socialized to care for others
Does NOT EVER Mean
I need to disappear from my own life
so someone else can have what they think they want
or feel important.

The cinnamon roll thought
has begun a new, healthier way of being.

It's a "small thing" - to some
a Life Saver
for me.


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