Sunday, December 26, 2010

"There is often a wide gap between what we want and what we think people expect us to want."
--Y. Berg

he goes on to suggest we ask ourselves often "Is this what I want?"

My awareness of this human experience/clash/tension came super early.  By now i expect you've discovered it as well, yes?  One very painful time for me was while i was still in High School.  My friend and acting partner, having a painful time in his teen years, decided to leave us.  he came to school one day and gave his good-byes, which we didn't recognize until it was too late, and that same evening, drove into the desert and shot himself.  yes, that's painful, BUT - what happened next was very hard - at least for me.  the school set up a special award, a HUGE trophy - in his honor - in his name.  Since i was winning awards all over the United States for acting, it was expected i be the first winner/recipient, therefore a bronze plaque with my name engraved on it would be the very first affixed to this . . mobile monument.  I was uncomfortable - i was grief stricken and grown-ups all around me were behaving like pack animals gone wild  (which is another story in itself.)  My classmates reassured themselves everything would go according to plan and - in memory - the story/saga would have some romantic twist.  ARGUH!  I refused to attend events - i refused to compete - I refused to talk about it - i came very close to refusing to attend any classes at all . . . .

Being difficult to control, people  are often upset with me.
yep.  It happens all the time, in big and small ways - we do what's expected of us - even when the pressure is too great - or it makes us unhappy (isn't that a little like being dead - not being able to live your own life & dreams?)

So, if it's choosing ice cream, or a career, or - well - anything at all.
I agree with Yehuda.  feel free to ask yourself, "Is this what I want?"
And act accordingly . . . well, if you dare . . you certainly have my permission . . . 

Come on, New Year, Bring It!

Let's see what Beauty we can build/achieve this time around, hm?
love & love,

Enhanced by Zemanta

No comments: