Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Dear Pops,

Happy November!
Well, today has been a doozy - and it's only noon.

I had a little forewarning - so, except for the part where I behaved badly - it's okay.

The owner of the business I've been working at is unusual. Lately he's been doing odd things and blaming me (it isn't personal, he goes through employees like some folk use Kleenex.) This morning he had stuff on my desk with sticky notes showing where I'd made a mistake. Ooooh! I had enough already. These papers were from early September and they were each clearly marked in my handwriting - indicating where he'd underpaid his insurance by six dollars. I'd left it on the desk so he'd know - and eventually he filed it - He put it in the business folder - instead of the vehicle folder where it was supposed to go.

When he realized it was clearly marked and I had handled it correctly he started going through all kinds of papers saying I'd done them all wrong - I proved it was not so and he got worked up - then he insisted everything done yesterday was mishandled and I'd cost him money - he said he wasn't even in the office yesterday . .

Pops, that's when I behaved poorly. The man was in the office - on the computer I use from 9a to 11:45 - (he was on eBay purchasing stuff - his favorite sport) he left the office because I got a call from a past customer who somehow received a forty thousand check from an insurance company that was meant to pay for a job -

The owner took paperwork to prove it was rightfully his because he did not want the customer to send the check back -

The owner returned at 4:15 yesterday and sat at the desk I use all day - and this morning there were three sheets of checks ready to be mailed that he did after hours.

So, telling me he was not there and could not have made any errors - Pops, I started to raise my voice - pointing out the error of his reasoning - he tried to communicate with me - but, I'd already past the reason stage - he told me to lower my voice (I became un-cooperative) - he tried to SHOUT - (not wise, but, it was his choice - I countered with and ear splitting yell - It's really unfair - you know, martial artists need to show caution with his physical ability - a vocalist is flat out able to make herself heard.)

I was already looking for another part time position - so, we all knew - it just turned out . . nutty.

I apologized to the gentlemen in the office for making the place unpleasant. (They were all cheering.)

I put Osa on her leash - she was ready to go - Mr. Dill drove me home. I called the lady who prays with me when I get stuck. She had a client when I first called. By the time I called her back I'd already prayed myself through to some understanding and peace. She pointed out that I should get over this thinking in "lack." (You know, part time, little paying . . . . )

I explained the other things I do actually make enough - I just don't see much extra - and, since I'm doing school - it will turn out super . . . but, she's right. Our Father already has PLENTY prepared for me. So, I will remember Love is reflected in Love.

When I talked with God - (thinking I was horrid) - He pointed out even Jesus needed a whip . . . .

Lynne, my prayer lady - said it is good for me to be out of that "unholy" place. I should bless them and move on.

I'm okay. It's silly - I behaved childishly - (it was kind of fun) - I was most concerned about the environment because I'd been praying to see improvement - and it really showed. Lately the owner has been ripping the peace apart there - and causing strife in his workers . . . .

So, I wasn't an angel today.
I'll try to do better tomorrow.

Know what I reminded myself of?
I need to believe in my writing more.
By itself it can make more than enough to cover the few dollars that place paid. I'm so accustomed to being self supporting, I'd certainly be happier . . . . I need to practice some confidence.

So, how's your day going?
Is November looking pretty good?
Mine is the beginning of an adventure.

All My Love,

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