Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Star of Wonder

That's the chorus I was singing to myself last night when the cat decided to jump onto the table where the lit candles for Advent were shining. Golly! Cat went one direction, candles went another. The cat leapt away due to my surprise and displeasure and not due to some flammable episode (thankfully.) My Advent season has started out wacky. What's up with that? This morning I found my favorite full text quarterly (Hurray! I did without one last month and felt a little lost.) But, the thought that really made an impact was the idea that life is measured to us according to the way we measure. My teacher would point out that we must have a "mental equivalent" when we are praying (or, doing treatment work - that's how some people refer to proper prayer.) This morning I distinctly felt it has to do with how I am inside myself when I do things (even things that take a lot of time or effort for other people - maybe even MOSTLY those things we do for others.) Gulp! I suddenly wanted a "redo" on some recent activities. I must watch my heart . . . I'm thinking today that's what "watch and pray" means for me.

Expecting Christ.


Monday, November 28, 2005

Alternate Reality

What a fascinating experience. Yesterday we decided to go to the movies. We arrived early so we walked through the hotel. Outside one of the clubs there was an advertisement about upcoming Holiday events and there was a full color photograph of an older woman in a full length white, shimmering, sequined gown. She also wore a full feather boa and maybe, (but about this I am not so clear, as I became entranced and horrified simultaneously) matching white feathers in her hair. She was standing on a carpeted spiral stairway with her right hand lightly placed on the railing. Her hair was dark and her face was made up (I actually checked to see if it was someone in drag because I'm not used to that look any longer.) The ad informed us she will be delighting us at the piano bar and, after 10p. there will be an open mike.

My mother tried valiantly to convince me that would be the best, "classiest" career path for me, if I insisted in pursuing the arts. Since it was something she suggested, it was one of the things I could guarantee I would NEVER do. I even stopped playing piano and took up guitar just to cinch the idea. I couldn't help shivering inside seeing that photograph. It felt as if some other girl-child lived the idea out instead. Oh golly - it creeped me out.

It must be that this lady has a happy life. Perhaps she even manages to self-support - or at least she has a life that is satisfying. I hope she doesn't have to sing "Feelings" every hour.

The movie we saw was beautiful. The coffee we had before hand was perfect.
My first full day of Advent '05. Was I watching? Well, yes - did I spot Christ?


Sunday, November 27, 2005

First Sunday of Advent Posted by Picasa

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Loved This Film. Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

You Put Your Belly In - You Put Your Belly Out

Jazzy Storytime. I am the happiest lady I know.

Friday, November 11, 2005


Saint Nicholas loves the children of Saint Louis so much he comes to visit them every year on the eve of his saint day. You are invited. It's free but we ask everyone to register.
The link is:
We hope to hear from you by December 1st.
Nicholas visits on December 5th.
See you there?


Posted by Picasa

Monday, November 07, 2005

This is one of my favorite definitions of love:

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4

Friday, November 04, 2005

Perfect Sleep - Little Sheep

Hurray!!! Today's the day. I've been saving for weeks and finally I'll get to have a bed. I've been sleeping in a recliner which was a real blessing because I'd broken my shoulder and it needed support while it healed. Before then I was sleeping in a double bed that was so uncomfortable that when I tried to turn over the springs poked through the fabric. It was really ouchy. When we moved I opted not to bring the monstrosity and started saving for something nice. Late this afternoon I get to take the bus over to
"Weekends Only" and pay cash for a Serta. (If you are looking, you'll learn mattress sets are REAL PRICEY - and, if you do your homework, you'll see the best prices (a little more than half) - at least in this region - are here.

My friend is going to load the new bed into his truck and bring it home. Yeah!!!!!

Do you wonder about my schoolwork?
I wonder, too. What kind of student have I turned out to be?
Am I "un-cooperative?"

Well, I DO have to curb my artistic instincts - which takes a lot of the fun out of things. It's difficult for me to retain "literal" stuff. It has less meaning for me when I am required to quote someone else's words.
I do, however, realize that is a "classical" way of teaching. I've been blessed to attend classes where we were all encouraged to learn the material in order to become our unique selves.

So, I don't guess I'm the most popular student.
I'm wending my way through the material. Often I answer things twice - quoting the page and phrase required then giving an answer in my own words because the information itself is thrilling.

I'll make it.
Will my enthusiasm lose its luster?
I guess that remains to be seen.

How's your week?
I'd love to hear.


PS - Today a bed - next - shoes with no holes . . . . it's a good world.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Dear Pops,

Happy November!
Well, today has been a doozy - and it's only noon.

I had a little forewarning - so, except for the part where I behaved badly - it's okay.

The owner of the business I've been working at is unusual. Lately he's been doing odd things and blaming me (it isn't personal, he goes through employees like some folk use Kleenex.) This morning he had stuff on my desk with sticky notes showing where I'd made a mistake. Ooooh! I had enough already. These papers were from early September and they were each clearly marked in my handwriting - indicating where he'd underpaid his insurance by six dollars. I'd left it on the desk so he'd know - and eventually he filed it - He put it in the business folder - instead of the vehicle folder where it was supposed to go.

When he realized it was clearly marked and I had handled it correctly he started going through all kinds of papers saying I'd done them all wrong - I proved it was not so and he got worked up - then he insisted everything done yesterday was mishandled and I'd cost him money - he said he wasn't even in the office yesterday . .

Pops, that's when I behaved poorly. The man was in the office - on the computer I use from 9a to 11:45 - (he was on eBay purchasing stuff - his favorite sport) he left the office because I got a call from a past customer who somehow received a forty thousand check from an insurance company that was meant to pay for a job -

The owner took paperwork to prove it was rightfully his because he did not want the customer to send the check back -

The owner returned at 4:15 yesterday and sat at the desk I use all day - and this morning there were three sheets of checks ready to be mailed that he did after hours.

So, telling me he was not there and could not have made any errors - Pops, I started to raise my voice - pointing out the error of his reasoning - he tried to communicate with me - but, I'd already past the reason stage - he told me to lower my voice (I became un-cooperative) - he tried to SHOUT - (not wise, but, it was his choice - I countered with and ear splitting yell - It's really unfair - you know, martial artists need to show caution with his physical ability - a vocalist is flat out able to make herself heard.)

I was already looking for another part time position - so, we all knew - it just turned out . . nutty.

I apologized to the gentlemen in the office for making the place unpleasant. (They were all cheering.)

I put Osa on her leash - she was ready to go - Mr. Dill drove me home. I called the lady who prays with me when I get stuck. She had a client when I first called. By the time I called her back I'd already prayed myself through to some understanding and peace. She pointed out that I should get over this thinking in "lack." (You know, part time, little paying . . . . )

I explained the other things I do actually make enough - I just don't see much extra - and, since I'm doing school - it will turn out super . . . but, she's right. Our Father already has PLENTY prepared for me. So, I will remember Love is reflected in Love.

When I talked with God - (thinking I was horrid) - He pointed out even Jesus needed a whip . . . .

Lynne, my prayer lady - said it is good for me to be out of that "unholy" place. I should bless them and move on.

I'm okay. It's silly - I behaved childishly - (it was kind of fun) - I was most concerned about the environment because I'd been praying to see improvement - and it really showed. Lately the owner has been ripping the peace apart there - and causing strife in his workers . . . .

So, I wasn't an angel today.
I'll try to do better tomorrow.

Know what I reminded myself of?
I need to believe in my writing more.
By itself it can make more than enough to cover the few dollars that place paid. I'm so accustomed to being self supporting, I'd certainly be happier . . . . I need to practice some confidence.

So, how's your day going?
Is November looking pretty good?
Mine is the beginning of an adventure.

All My Love,