Sunday, February 14, 2010

Have we just met?

If you've known me a long time, you already know this - so, just skip it - well, wait, before you leave - please know, I love you . . . . everything else is commentary.

BUT - if you've only met me - maybe in the last year-ish, well, you haven't been to a "georgy-concert" so, you haven't heard why I run after you, or double back, or just whenever I see you I dance a little and tell you - right out loud, "I LOVE YOU."

I guess it's a long story, so if you have the time, if you want to know -
It's pretty common knowledge I wasn't wanted. Gotta tell you it makes a lot of stuff easier to handle, you know - when people are a little mean - 'cause I'm used to it.

When i was in high school, I was in Las Vegas. Most of my chums were artists (mainly performing arts) and almost everyone was from a busted up home. We had no sense of "actual" family - we made ourselves family for one another. . . . and, we were tight. I'd skipped a couple of grades, and that made my classmates "big kids." Kinda odd to always be the youngest - but, it worked okay - I worked hard at my craft and it was easy to find a great (talented) partner.

Maybe that sounds odd. I don't know what your school was like. Now I'm in Saint Louis, where the first question someone will ask is "What High School did you attend." Really, if you're not from here, that doesn't resonate. Anyway, the school I attended was experimental. It had good things and bad things - the best part was, you attended classes according to your ability. That's how I got the most talented acting partner - ever.

So, my major was theater arts (no surprise, right?) In our system, we could compete. For some kids it was just fun. For me it was necessary, if i wanted to go on to a good university - because I'd need to pay my own way, somehow. My somehow was Tom Morgan. He seemed like a "Grown-Up" - all his chums were older, so was he - but, when we did scenes together - it was total magic. Our coach helped us find material that would pull our "strong points" out. Now, there's the strange thing. I was abused, and, if you could find the right material, i could pull from the world i knew and blow your socks off. I don't know too much about Tom's broken bits. I guess our coach did because together, well, together we were unstoppable.

My problem was, he noticed i was a girl - I still thought i was "one of the guys" - so, I wouldn't hang out with him, because he'd want to get "mushy" - you know, tell me about his feelings . . . .
yikes.

I know i told you - we were all from broken homes, right?

One day Tom came to school and found me in the lunch room. He wanted to drink some of my beverage . . . and eat part of my sandwich . . . . and return all the books & music he'd borrowed. I thought he was nuts.

That night, our coach called to tell me Tom had gone out into the desert and shot himself in the head. The next day i got his letter in the mail, saying good-bye.

It was bad . . . . real bad.

Many years later, God gave me an assignment. (You can do this, too - if you want, God always means the good stuff for everybody.) I was asked to silently think "I LOVE YOU" to every person i saw. That's it - I wasn't to say anything out loud, or be odd, or embarrassing, just look at them and think "I LOVE YOU." God said I would be doing a holy favor.

I don't know how many years i did that - but, one day it started to bubble out in its own, very alive way. I don't think about it - I still don't think about it . . Just sometimes . . well, you've seen it -

You are so important to God - none of us will ever really know - but we can try - by showing it to one another . . . . .

So - I KNOW - sometimes it's uncomfortable - I just can't help myself, when its TRUE - its TRUE . . BUT - on Valentines, it doesn't seem to bother people quite as much . . .

I LOVE YOU.
Thank YOU for being my friend, my chum, for your smile, for opening the door, for singing with me, for sharing your stories, for asking me to sit with you, for the call, the card, the question . . . .
for everything, thank you . . . i love you.

happy valentine's day

2 comments:

missknits said...

I love you too, georgy! and know god does too! You are an amazing person, an angel in more ways than one! i am blessed to call you friend! and who cares what anyone things! scream it from the roof tops if you want to! everyone, and i mean everyone, needs to know they are loved!

Carol said...

OH G....WOW!!!

I LOVE you TOO! You have brought so much to my life and have brightened up my cornor of the world more than you know. You inspire me to be better. I don't tell "everyone" I met that I love them, but I do say it often. I am going to let those words flow more starting today. It just might be the only good thing someone might hear today.

Hey....I LOVE YOU! Have an awesome day! Fat Tuesday...I LOVE LENT so today is just an awesome day and tomorrow is a NEW beginning. I have not fully decided what I am going to "give up" but I do know what I am going to give....more love!

PS....I can explain the HS thing to you. Depending on where you went to HS and what area you lived, North County, South County, West County told the person asking what social status you were (or really your parents were). I went to gradeschool and HS in North County. So by saying to someone when asked the question "what HS did you go to" by my response told them that I was Catholic and from NC. Which said I was raised middle class. Kind of silly when you think about it. Labels....bottom line that is what it is all about.